Sunday, 29 December 2013

Home



How many times have I said,'I don't really get journalling...it's not for me...'? Turns out, it is.

Every morning, after the dogs have been out and before the child wakes up, I make a pot of redbush tea and I sit and write. It is a transformative process and one I hope to stay within. It is taking me into powerful shadow work that is long overdue and as a result I am simultaneously staring the hard stuff in the eye and feeling a sense of comfort and 'home' within myself. I feel no need to write about it here and bore a handful of people with it. Heh.

As usual, the outside mirrors the inside and we are swinging from clear, sunny blue sky days when I can see for miles and sound is crystal clear, to gales and rain and floods and mud mud mud. On these days all I want is to shut the doors and stay in by the fire but my lovely dogs ensure that I don't get to define my conversation with nature...we meet her in all moods, on all days. That is just part of their gift to me.

All is well in my little family. Christmas was quiet and relaxing and full of happy. I am a lucky, grateful woman. I hope yours, or any variation on the theme of time off that you may have been enjoying, was the same.

I'm trying to clear my head from the food-induced toxicity so that I can start contemplating Things of the New Year. I'm looking forward to 2014 but I think, as ever, I will be at least a few days behind. Maybe the first new moon will be a marker for me.

I have two words jostling at the front of my head for Word of the Year status. Both a little, er, 'odd' but they've made it clear they're staying. I had two words last year - joined by a third in the spring - so I think I'll stick with what was a winning formula for me. I may keep last year's too. Start to build a word tower.

Elsewhere in here I'm thinking and feeling my way around how I balance being a part of the whole, a thread in the tapestry, a note in the song and part of All That Is, with being a unique, individual expression of All That Is. Where and what are the boundaries? How can I define my Self while still being connected to and part of everything else? It is clear that I need to but at the moment it's a bit beyond me. The solution seems to require more dimensions than I am able to envisage. Perhaps the thing to do...is just to do. The thing to be...is just to be. Trust.

I've no idea when I'll be here again but hello. Happy new year!

x

1 comment:

  1. Happy New Year, may your year be just the way you like it.

    ReplyDelete

Note: only a member of this blog may post a comment.