Friday, 8 November 2013

Grounded


Around my neck are a holey stone from the land where I live, and a piece of carved Irish bog oak from the land where some of my ancestors lived. I carry them in an attempt to hold my centre and stay grounded. To stop myself flying away.

Hormones, post-migraine stupor and the last stages of oh-so-slowly weaning myself off the SSRIs I've been taking for way too long have me feeling spacey, light-headed and very occasionally subject to those weird, buzzy little 'electric shocks' in my brain that any of you who have also done the SSRI waltz will recognise. Thankfully I know that the answer is in the dirt, the earth, the mud that is plastered all over everything at the moment. It's come at the right time for me. This is not a big deal, this space in the head. A couple of days of bare feet on the earth, and plenty of water and I'll be fine.

It does me all kinds of good to be at this level for a while. Mindfully bringing my attention to the literally mundane, in its 'of the earth' sense, channels all this spinny excess energy back to the ground. I am going to spend a day or so keeping busy in domesticity. Several loads of washing, cooking, floors to be cleaned and a bathroom to be scrubbed will help. As will moving this body as much as possible in fresh air and yes, that mud; heading out into the woods and fields and trying to stay with the five bodily senses. The others will take care of themselves for a while.

Early this morning, bundled up warmly and standing in the starlit mist, I reminded myself of what I know: that any extreme anxiety I might feel is not based in truth; it's what happens when you come off anti-anxiety medication. It is not real.

Then an owl called out from the woods behind the withy bed to the east and reminded me: 'Sweetie...none of this is real. Enjoy.'






1 comment:

  1. "Bringing my attention to the literally mundane, in its 'of the earth' sense, channels all this spinny excess energy back to the ground." Yup. xx

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